


The Group Chat's Name Has Been Changed!

by suns_out_sleeps_in_ramblings



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Crack, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, I should be sorry but I'm not, Mild Language, Self-Indulgent, The Author Regrets Nothing, Why Did I Write This?, like so self indulgent it's not even funny, there is no point to this, this is a pure crackhead fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22458208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suns_out_sleeps_in_ramblings/pseuds/suns_out_sleeps_in_ramblings
Summary: The day-to-day texting of the RAD human exchange student MC, because you can't tell me that living with a bunch of demons doesn't lead to some rather weird text conversations in-between all the crazy.
Comments: 21
Kudos: 312





	1. Chapter 1

**Broke-Ass:**  
WHO TF CHANGED THE CHAT NAME TO DEMON PACT HAREM?

 **Ruri-chan Stan:**  
ROTFLMAO u mad bro?

 **Broke-Ass:**  
YOU DO REALIZE MC IS IN THIS CHAT RIGHT?!

 **MC:**  
Sorry, Mammon.

 **MC:**  
I lost a bet.

 **Ass Man Deus:**  
I personally think it’s a fitting name considering the circumstances.

 **Ass Man Deus:**  
All of us are vying for MC’s love so that essentially makes us a harem!

 **Ass Man Deus:**  
The only thing left is for MC to finally give in to the passions of love and lust~!

 **Broke-Ass:**  
ASMO NO

 **Baby Beel:**  
But you can’t eat a harem…

 **Not Today Satan:**  
Beel that’s cannibalism.

 **MC:**  
He did threaten to eat me when we first met.

 **Baby Beel:**  
I said I was sorry about that…

 **MC:**  
Baby boi you are fine I’m just teasing you ilu <3

 **Baby Beel:**  
A dozen cheeseburgers would make me feel better...

 **MC:**  
I’ll take you to Hell’s Kitchen once I finish my stats homework promise

 **MC:**  
⊂(´・ω・｀⊂)

 **Baby Beel:**  
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

 **Broke-Ass:**  
WOULD YOU ALL FOCUS FOR ONCE?!

 **Broke-Ass:**  
Why did the group chat name get changed?

 **Broke-Ass:**  
And why did it get changed to Demon Pact Harem?!

 **Ruri-chan Stan:**  
Me and MC were betting on the outcome of a love triangle for our latest romance anime.

 **MC:**  
I lost and had to change the chat name to see who noticed first.

 **Ruri-chan Stan:**  
But neither of us could think of what to change it to.

 **Ass Man Deus:**  
That’s when I came up with Demon Pact Harem!

 **Ass Man Deus:**  
It fits us perfectly!

 **Broke-Ass:**  
DUDE

 **Broke-Ass:**  
NO

 **Broke-Ass:**  
THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOULD BE IN A HAREM WITH MC IS ME!

 **Broke-Ass:**  
I WAS HER FIRST SO SHE’S MINE!!

 **Broke-Ass:**  
AND THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY I AM SHARING WITH ANY OF YOU!

 **MC:**  
(•ﾟдﾟ•)

 **MC:**  
|_-｡)

 **Ass Man Deus:**  
Such a way with words, dear brother.

 **Ass Man Deus:**  
But I see that it’s enough to make our dear little human hot and bothered~!

 **Not Today Satan:**  
Now if you actually had the guts to do something about it.

 **Ass Man Deus:**  
Then we could really have some fun!

 **Broke-Ass:**  
BOTH OF YOU ARE DEAD ONCE I FIND YOU

 **Not Today Satan:**  
Bring it.

 **Ruri-chan Stan:**  
You really are an idiotic scumbag, StupidMammon

 **Broke-Ass:**  
QUIT IT WITH THAT NAME LEVI!

 **Ruri-chan Stan:**  
You need more than two people to make a harem you idiot.

 **Baby Beel:**  
Even I know that one...

 **Broke-Ass:**  
NONE OF YOU SHOULD BE IN A HAREM WITH MC ANYWAY

 **MC:**  
But I like my demon harem.

 **Broke-Ass:**  
MC WHYYY

 **Broke-Ass:**  
(┳Д┳)

 **Ruri-chan Stan:**  
LMAO RIP

 **Sleeping Beauty:**  
Would you all knock it off? I’m trying to sleep here.

 **Sleeping Beauty:**  
Seriously all of you except Beel and MC are so annoying…

 **MC:**  
Sorry Bel, but teasing Mammon is too much fun.

 **Not Today Satan:**  
Yeah, plus it’s the only chat where we don’t have to worry about what Lucifer says.

 **Forgive Me Father:**  
Are you sure about that, Satan?

 **Forgive Me Father:**  
So MC is to blame this time. 

**Forgive Me Father:**  
I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything less from you.

 **Baby Beel:**  
Lucifer? How’d you get in the chat?

 **MC:**  
I don’t have a pact with Lucifer…

 **MC:**  
Wait

 **MC:**  
FUCK WRONG CHAT

 **Forgive Me Father:**  
Once I get back, you are all grounded.


	2. Regret.png

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actions have consequences.
> 
> A mindless in-joke you initially think nothing of ends up as your undoing.

**MC:**  
Simeon

**Actual Best Boi:**  
Yes MC? What is it my little lamb?

**MC:**  
Can you do me a HUGE favor?

**MC:**  
Pretty please?

**Actual Best Boi:**  
If it is within my capabilities, of course!

**MC:**  
Then can you please, 

**MC:**  
very gently, 

**MC:**  
oh so lovingly.

**MC:**  
kill me?

**Actual Best Boi:**  
（ΩДΩ）

**Actual Best Boi:**  
MC my dear WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT???!!

**Actual Best Boi:**  
First of all I can't kill you it's bad but second WHY?? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?

**MC:**  
bby plz calm down but okay I'll tell you

**Actual Best Boi:**  
I want to help you get out of this dangerous mindset so please do!

**MC:**  
Y'know how I have chats with everyone right?

**MC:**  
All the brothers, Purgatory Hall and Diavolo and Barbatos?

**Actual Best Boi:**  
Yes, I understand so far.

**MC:**  
Well, I was hanging out and having tea with Diavolo for the student reviews we have to do

**MC:**  
When Lucifer sent me a picture of him stringing up Mammon and Levi for screwing around and breaking some cursed object (which trust me there's a lot of those around the house) and getting Beel cursed for the next 2 days because he tried to grab it when they broke it and Beel caught the curse and now Beel's a cat

**MC:**  
He also sent me a picture of Beel as a super big and fluffy cat who is just the most precious fluffball ever I can't wait to pet him

**MC:**  
So anyway

**MC:**  
Diavolo asked me to send him the pictures too because they were too funny not to have

**MC:**  
So I opened my chat with him to send him the pics

**MC:**  
But for a split second, I forgot that I had changed Diavolo's name into...something else. And he saw the name.

**Actual Best Boi:**  
...what did you change Lord Diavolo's name to in your phone, MC?

**MC:**  
B I G. M A N. D.

**MC:**  
Simeon?

**Actual Best Boi:**  
MC

**Actual Best Boi:**  
My dear friend and precious Little Lamb,

**Actual Best Boi:**  
Not even God can save you from that kind of embarrassment.

**Author's Note:**

> ah I love these idiots


End file.
